The empty nest revisited

I see that my “empty nest” post is the one that draws people here via search engines. Maybe it’s time for an update. It has now been five weeks since we packed our youngest child off to college. She’s coming home next weekend for the first time. We visited her last week on her college campus. She seems to be having a great time. We haven’t seen her older brother and sister for seven weeks and three months, respectively. Telephones are nice.

I still miss being involved in the local school system and haven’t found a satisfactory substitute for it. On the other hand, I’m actually updating this blog semi-regularly as well as squeezing a few other projects into my days that had previously been beyond my time budget.

I hope my mixed reaction to the empty nest, particularly rejoicing in the increased freedom to choose how I fill my days, does not bring further grief to the hearts of those who wonder about their purpose in life now that their children no longer need them on a daily basis. The truth is, I fall rather low on the need-to-nourish scale. I once killed a pet rabbit by neglect (and imposed a lifetime ban on myself from ever owning another bunny). The fish in our 10-gallon tank (originally belonging to one of the kids) know about life on the edge. I was always glad the kids were so insistent in their demand for my attention. However, I think that if I had a need to nurture children, I could find plenty of opportunity in volunteer positions.

For me, one of the freeing things about having the kids move on is the realization that I’m no longer responsible for correcting anyone’s behavior. I can make it a life-goal to “live and let live”, to accept people as they are without feeling a need to fix their social skills.

I’m convinced there’s life after kids. It’s a different life, but a good one. As I’ve mentioned elsewhere, there are a myriad of things to fill my days. The biggest challenge is to find ways to maintain the variety of relationships the school brought to me. Internet exchanges are good but I want to be involved in the community where I live. Our rural setting, with only four houses on our stretch of the road, three of which are out of sight from our house, adds to that challenge.

I’ll let you know how it goes.