The World Before Me . . .

It has now been years since the day I changed the words to the old song “I Have Decided to Follow Jesus.” One of its multiple repetitive verses says: “The world behind me, the cross before me.” As we sang it one day during a church service, my evangelical training kicked in and I wondered, “Why have I turned my back on the world again? Shouldn't I care about 'the lost' out there? Shouldn't the “cross” (i.e. the church) have my back as I head out to make a difference in my world?” So I sang instead, “The world before me, the cross behind me.” It was a spontaneous thought, but one I haven't changed my mind on since. It is so much more appealing to head out into the world to make a difference than to turn my back on all the blessings, opportunities, and even the dangers to be found there.

More than a decade ago, I posted to a forum that no longer exists some words I titled "A New Direction. Having struggled with ministry options in the church, my proposal was to seek alternative opportunities out in the community. I was working at a small public library where I had contact with many people in need of God's touch on their lives. I did my best to meet them where they were, but dealt with a continuing lack of encouragement and support for such efforts. From the viewpoint of church leaders, all my efforts at the library and in the community were of little or no consequence, and I faced relentless pressure to better support church programs planned by other people. For someone raised in evangelicalism, the crippling blow of being dismissed as lacking commitment and being unsupportive is powerful. None of my attempts to make a difference in people's lives came up to the standards I was being measured against.

A few years later I added Reggie McNeal's 2015 book Kingdom Come: Why We Must Give Up Our Obsession with Fixing the Church – and What We Should Do Instead to my to-read list. The list is long and my reading progress slow, but eventually I procured the ebook and, after even more delay, started reading it. It always amazes me when others can take what I think and turn those thoughts into marketable words. McNeal's answer to furthering the Kingdom of God is for Christ's followers to go out into the world and find ways to connect with people and make a difference in their lives. Not to leave the church behind, but to work in the world while drawing encouragement and spiritual nurture from the church.

Meanwhile, my church setting has changed, and I no longer work at the public library. Even if I did, the dynamics there have changed with evolving technology. Consequently, my own community connections are weaker than they once were, but still there.

At one level, I wish I had read this book back when I was more connected, but less supported. But that was then, and this is now. I am not without opportunity. And I am in a better place to value the connections I have left and can continue to form in the community.

The world truly lies before me with countless opportunities to show kindness and compassion to those hungry for the love God offers. For my own spiritual well-being, I need frequent reminders to turn my face to the needy people outside the church doors. I am thankful for the times I find support and encouragement from the church behind me as I strive to make a difference in the world before and around me.

On "Lars and the Real Girl"

I am not one to watch a lot of television series or movies. If my entire viewing time in a week adds up to three or four hours, that is a lot. Which, of course, leaves me way out of the loop on shows others are binging. One series from fifteen years ago that I am finally slowly watching is NBC's Parks & Recreation. After all, it is set in Indiana, which gives it a little extra appeal.

One of the supporting cast members in the first two seasons of the show is Paul Schneider. I wondered what else he has done and did a Google search. When I found a movie from 2007 with him and Ryan Gosling as brothers, that was enough to pull me in. It took a few sessions to get through it, but I have found myself mentally revisiting the plot since I finished it.

In the show, Ryan Gosling plays the part of an extremely socially awkward young man. A co-worker is looking at life-size sex dolls on the internet and tries to interest "Lars" in them. Lars then secretly orders one and when it comes introduces "Bianca" to his brother and sister-in-law as a missionary from Brazil whom he met online. He asks if she can stay in their guest room while they are getting to know each other and if she can borrow some of the sister-in-law's clothes. They, of course, are concerned about him treating this doll as a real girl and immediately make an appointment with a doctor/therapist for him. The doctor advises them to go along with Lars's delusion that Bianca is a real girl and schedules regular sessions to treat Bianca for some health problems, sessions Lars attends as well, chatting with the therapist during Bianca's treatments.

Here is where the plot gets interesting. The brother is greatly embarrassed by this odd behavior on the part of his brother, but agrees to follow the doctor's advice. Not only do he and his wife accept Bianca into the family, but Bianca also goes to church and the entire congregation cautiously welcomes her in. When Lars's office has a social event, he takes Bianca in her wheelchair and everyone has been clued in ahead of time and treats her like a real person. The church ladies find opportunities for Bianca to do volunteer work, including as a reader at the local children's hospital (with a "talking book"). Some take an interest in styling her hair for her. As time goes on, thanks to the church ladies, Bianca slowly develops a social life of her own while Lars is at work. And when Bianca has a severe health crisis, the ladies bring their needlework and sit with Lars to comfort him.

Of course, this is a completely unrealistic plot. There is no world in which an ambulance would be called for a life-size doll and take her to the hospital where doctors and nurses would install her in a room and pretend to take her "health crisis" seriously. Nor is everyone associated with an office environment likely to go along with it. Someone will surely feel obliged to speak the truth.

More than the coworkers and the health professionals, however, my sense of realism completely balks at the idea of a congregation playing along with this delusion. Church people, of all people, would insist that Lars face the facts: his girlfriend is NOT A REAL GIRL!! She is a doll! A sex doll, no less. Maybe a subgroup of compassionate people in the congregation could be persuaded to go along with this delusion, but not the entire church. I kept waiting for that one person to show up who would insist that Lars face the reality of his "relationship," but no one ever did. Every single member of the community allowed Lars to live in his alternate reality for as long as he needed to do so.

I don't know how I feel about this. "Bianca" is obviously important to Lars in overcoming a difficult childhood. By allowing his therapy to proceed unhindered and extending extraordinary Christian charity, the church congregation played a major healing role in his life. Bianca's "charity work" through the church gave her a dimension beyond Lars' personal therapy doll, rounded her out as a "real girl" with a life beyond being Lars's girlfriend.

Anyway, like I said, I don't know how I feel about this, but it is at least a little sad that I find the church's support for Lars and "Bianca" the least believable aspect of the movie.