It has now been years since the day I changed the words to the old song “I Have Decided to Follow Jesus.” One of its multiple repetitive verses says: “The world behind me, the cross before me.” As we sang it one day during a church service, my evangelical training kicked in and I wondered, “Why have I turned my back on the world again? Shouldn't I care about 'the lost' out there? Shouldn't the “cross” (i.e. the church) have my back as I head out to make a difference in my world?” So I sang instead, “The world before me, the cross behind me.” It was a spontaneous thought, but one I haven't changed my mind on since. It is so much more appealing to head out into the world to make a difference than to turn my back on all the blessings, opportunities, and even the dangers to be found there.
More than a decade ago, I posted to a forum that no longer exists some words I titled "A New Direction. Having struggled with ministry options in the church, my proposal was to seek alternative opportunities out in the community. I was working at a small public library where I had contact with many people in need of God's touch on their lives. I did my best to meet them where they were, but dealt with a continuing lack of encouragement and support for such efforts. From the viewpoint of church leaders, all my efforts at the library and in the community were of little or no consequence, and I faced relentless pressure to better support church programs planned by other people. For someone raised in evangelicalism, the crippling blow of being dismissed as lacking commitment and being unsupportive is powerful. None of my attempts to make a difference in people's lives came up to the standards I was being measured against.
A few years later I added Reggie McNeal's 2015 book Kingdom Come: Why We Must Give Up Our Obsession with Fixing the Church – and What We Should Do Instead to my to-read list. The list is long and my reading progress slow, but eventually I procured the ebook and, after even more delay, started reading it. It always amazes me when others can take what I think and turn those thoughts into marketable words. McNeal's answer to furthering the Kingdom of God is for Christ's followers to go out into the world and find ways to connect with people and make a difference in their lives. Not to leave the church behind, but to work in the world while drawing encouragement and spiritual nurture from the church.
Meanwhile, my church setting has changed, and I no longer work at the public library. Even if I did, the dynamics there have changed with evolving technology. Consequently, my own community connections are weaker than they once were, but still there.
At one level, I wish I had read this book back when I was more connected, but less supported. But that was then, and this is now. I am not without opportunity. And I am in a better place to value the connections I have left and can continue to form in the community.
The world truly lies before me with countless opportunities to show kindness and compassion to those hungry for the love God offers. For my own spiritual well-being, I need frequent reminders to turn my face to the needy people outside the church doors. I am thankful for the times I find support and encouragement from the church behind me as I strive to make a difference in the world before and around me.
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